The ins and outs of cross-cultural pollination

FORUMOSA’S NEWEST forum is called Dating & Relationships and is about fly-fishing in Montana. Well, OK…the fishing part maybe. My first reaction at having this kind of topic was that it would devolve, at least around the edges, into discussions on prostitution and comparisons of the size of Chinese and foreign men’s johnsons, not to put too fine a point on it….

Of course my mind works in mysterious, often pornographic ways, and the truth is that the new forum is mostly filled with bizarre, adolescent drivel. In the thread Foreign Females where do you find guys! HELP, the entire concept that a woman, any woman, can’t get a date is absurd in the extreme. Unless, mind you, that the woman looks like a former Soviet shot-putter and has the personality of a pit bull on a bad hair day; otherwise, she ought to have no problem attracting men.

Dangergyrl started things off by saying: “I am not ugly and keep in shape, but I see so many beer-bellied guys and nerdy guys with Asian girls. Guess they are less picky and I am not really that scrutinizing. HELP LADIES. I dare say…are you getting any, or having any fun?”

Getting any what? Fat nerdy guys?

Listen, ladies, you have all the power, don’t you know that? Or was the Women’s Liberation Movement of the 1960s just a piece of historical arcania that washed over your young heads?

Still, reading this thread it seems like every Western woman is pining for it (which, incidentally you men, seems to mean a shag, not that warm, lovey-dovey “just hold me and tell me you care” sort of shit). But look at
the competition they have to face. ImaniOU wrote: “You’ve got a
country full of women who would kill to date you.”

Can this be true? Alidarbac asks: “Who are these sexy assassins and where can I get their numbers?” Be careful what you wish for, my friend; there’s another thread on Forumosa about the “fembot” psycho-xiaojies….

But maybe it really is the fault of the men. Looking back at most relationships, we men, it seems, always get short shrift. Banshette wrote: “Are Western guys just not up to asking anybody out, or does everybody they ask out say no?”

Yes, Banshette, we men LOVE to be rejected.

Yes, there’s lots more, but Omniloquacious seems to sum up what many people seem to miss – the concept of the sample size: “Judging from my own experience in my heady bachelor days, I’d say that the average Western guy here has enough on his plate just juggling dates with the best of the local gals who want to spend time with him,…”

But to be fair, the men seem to be pining for the women-folk too. One thread called How to find Ms. Right? – in spite of being fucked up by the original poster going back and deleting all his posts (a banable offense) – has a few tidbits of lunacy, like Mr. He’s eight-point list that includes as Point No. 6: “Call them 2-3 days later [after meeting at a dance joint]; if they still remember you, invite them out to a nice restaurant, get them a bit drunk and romanize [or even romance] them. Don’t come across as desperate.” The list ends with “Dump the lass and repeat on a weekly basis.” You’ll have to go to the site to see what happens in step seven.

So it seems like men and women are looking for the same things, but have little idea how to go about it. Perhaps the Pet Shop Boys had it right, “You can fly away to the end of the world; But where does it get you to? ‘Cause just when you least expect it, Just what you least expect…Love comes quickly, whatever you do, You can’t stop falling….”

Tetsuo: “…every real relationship I’ve had has just sort of popped up, rather than been sought out.”

Amen, brother.

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Wolf Reinhold is a moderator on www.forumosa.com, a discussion forum for Taiwan’s online community.